There remain those times that, even at 71 years of age, I find myself in situations pondering the question "Just what rule applies here?"

The situation is in reference to counter seating, as in restaurant lunch counter, and applicable to all meals and ever so brief repasts taken in this setting. My observation is that folks always leave at least one stool in between themselves and patrons already in situ. Rule One can be stated as "One or more vacant stools shall remain between individual patrons." An exception is when two or more folks are a party of sorts and then side by side seating is permissible.

Rule Two comes into play when there are insufficient empty stools and Rule One cannot be applied. Before taking an adjourning stool, the expectation is that new arrival asks "Is this place taken?" One does not ask "May I join you?" The latter question may assume or presume a level of engagement beyond a common activity in a shared space and more of a shared activity in a common space. Such engagement may follow simple co-presence, but it is impolite to couch one's request in the terms of a pick-up line, albeit veiled, thinly or otherwise. Rule Two can be stated as "Ask prior permission before occupying an adjourning stool." A Sub-rule to Rule Two is that the new arrival is to select an empty stool next to an individual of the same gender. If that is not possible and the only available stools are next to individuals of an alternate gender, then select a stool next to the individual who appears to be in a party of sorts thus allowing for their safety in numbers.

There is also a Rule Three, commonly called The Good Morning Rule, which applies when taking a stool next to an individual with whom one has some familiarity. The new arrival simply establishes occupancy accompanied by the usual sound effects to make one's presence known, a proverbial knock on the door. The appropriate time of day greeting follows. A quick mutual assessment of the tone indicates to the co-seaters what will follow--quiet or conversation. One individual may throw out a teaser line referencing the weather--current or forecast. The response or lack of a response from the other sets the mood and/or tone--quiet or conversational.

Even with the best of intentions with the goal of living the self-examined life to the fullest, these situations are wrought with potential and actualized errors. Not everyone knows these rules, nor is everyone conscientious in applying them. Finally, there are folks whose primary objective is not a bit of nutritional sustenance, but the maximization of the opportunity to mingle--social sustenance. When faced with a rule violation in such a situation, a call to 911 is inappropriate. At these times, it is best to reach back, find the necessary reserves to push through the next 30 or 45 minutes and focus on your cold toast.

From a very small sample size, I have reason to believe that these same or very similar rules apply to bar stools. From my limited experience, I have found that there is a greater propensity for conversation over quiet between occupants of bar stools. I have heard talk that couched or thinly veiled pick-up lines are more acceptable in the bar context or, at least, a lot more common. Humor is frequently employed as a test or teaser line. The topic of Bar Rules, as an ancillary set of Stool Rules and their additional Sub-rules, warrant further study and, hopefully, clarification.