On a recent Saturday morning as a friend and I were enjoying a breakfast of oatmeal with brown sugar and raisins in the company of a toasted English muffin, we were briefly joined by a friend of my breakfast companion and a bit of an acquaintance of mine. TG had to update his friend on his recent sailing adventure. The update focused on an episode within the larger adventure; we were privy only to the episode and not the larger adventure. It is not clear what that says about the larger adventure in which this episode was embedded.

Captain TG was shuttling a sailboat back to its home port. The sail took several days. On the first day out and after the boat had been docked for the night, the steward went ashore and proceeded to get very drunk. Details of the captain's evening and that of the remainder of the crew were not shared with us. We can only speculate as to their activities or the lack thereof. The steward returned to the boat and proceeded to spend the next day and a half in her berth. This left the crew without a proper mess for a time. Captain TG was eventually able to adequately motivate the steward so that, once she was sufficiently sober, she was able to set a proper mess. A proper mess was served for the balance of the voyage.

As sailors are want to do, shore leave, alcohol and tattoos often come together in some sort of package deal.This steward was special; reportedly she travels with her own tattoo gun. She is working on a pair of sleeves. Now, it is customary that when one is working on either a single sleeve or a pair, the tattoo recipient and the tattoo artist are not one and the same person. The steward was in the process of doing her own sleeves. This is not quite the same as making your clothes versus buying off the rack. Captain TG described how the artwork on the left arm was quite professionally done, whereas the artwork on the right arm was barely amateurish. It was clear that the steward, despite being a reasonably good cook, was not ambidextrous.

Captain TG, being his usual kinetic self, slipped away into and through the crowd of the other diners in the restaurant, before either of us could ask for clarification or further detail. Therefore, I was not able to ask the question that came to mind. I wanted to ask Captain TG if he got any sleep on this trip. I thought he may have been afraid to close both eyes as long as there was a hung-over and cussed out steward with a tattoo gun on board ship. My question will have to wait. Captain TG kept his shirt on during our brief encounter. It is really any one's guess what he might see the next time he is standing in front of a mirror with his shirt off.

What would be the proper subject matter for a hung-over and cussed out tattoo artist's work on a sleeping captain? A ship in a bottle? A portrait of six of the cutest little kittens ever? Twelve women's names with X's through eleven? Whatever it is, I certainly hoped she held the gun in her right hand.